Life Update: July 2020

Welp, it’s been a minute since my last life update, so here we are. April’s Life Update was my most viewed blog post….ever (by A LOT). So, I get it: you like the vulnerable, juicy life update stuff. Heard.

Happy July! How are ya? Living? Thriving? Let me know in the comments.

Warning: If you are a part of the Explorer Newsletter family, some of this blog post may be repetitive. But, there’s some new stuff sprinkled in. Feel free to read or skip, either way, I love you.

Let’s get to it!

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Life Update

I’m not even sure where to begin. *nervous laughs*

I’ve gone through some heavy growing pains the last couple of months. I’ve shared (almost) everything on Instagram, but I’ll go ahead and repeat myself just in case you have me muted or are lost and don’t use Instagram.

The last couple of months I experienced reverse culture shock, the loss and sadness of losing my best friend (aka a break-up), a spiritual awakening, and then a civil rights movement all while a global pandemic is happening.

Anyone else stop and think: is this really f*cking happening? Our world and many of us are walking towards a deeper awareness. Layers of ourselves and the world are being revealed. It’s a lot. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, angry, anxious, etc – you are not alone.

My Spiritual Awakening

Note: Initially, I felt dumb for referring to my “break-down” and humbling realizations as a spiritual awakening. It sounds extra and magical. It sounds way more beautiful than it actually is. But, I read article after article about spiritual awakenings and concluded that I in fact experienced a spiritual awakening. *screams*

10 Signs You’re Having a Spiritual Awakening (Here’s a great article if you’re curious)

My spiritual journey started years ago. I grew up with an alternative mother. She took me to a shaman at age 8. I was given a spirit animal (frog) and attended shamanic drumming circles with her and her friends. She wouldn’t let me touch anything that wasn’t organic and we got all of our food from the local co-op. I didn’t tell anyone at the time, because well, it wasn’t cool back then.

For most of my adolescence (high school and college), I didn’t believe in God or a higher power or the Universe. I was too busy. Busy dating boys, hanging out with friends, watching TV, doing my homework, and *insert literally any distraction.*

I can’t remember exactly when I started believing in something outside myself. It was somewhere along my travels 5 or 6 years ago. I think I kept running into spiritual travelers or maybe I just hung out with myself without distractions for the first time in my life? Either way, I started meditating on and off, started a personal yoga practice, got certified in Reiki healing, experimented with plant medicine, and somehow transformed into a full-blown hairy, vegan hippie. *awkward wave*

Throughout my travels and saying f*ck all to the 9-5, I always felt this sense of protection and that my purpose was larger than myself. Like I was carrying out a duty and it would all come together at one time. I’m not sure exactly how to explain it. You too?

Anyways, two years ago I wanted more answers. I felt stuck in my growth. So, as any sane person would do, I signed up for an ayahuasca retreat in the jungle of Costa Rica. I was hoping to experience a pivot and leap in my spiritual journey. I was struggling with some demons (i.e. a toxic, codependent relationship) at the time and I prayed it would cure everything. I experienced some breakthroughs in Costa Rica, but more importantly, it prepared me for what was to come.

For my future “Eat, Pray, Love” style travel memoir, I had always dreamed of having that magical moment in the jungle or on the top of a mountain peak where my life magically changed and I got all the answers I ever wanted. *lol* The Universe had a different plan for me. My spirit guides were like “nah. Let’s have her wake up in Wheeling, IL… in her Mother’s condo…in the midst of a global pandemic” *BAM*

My spiritual awakening consisted of:

• Finally accepting and embracing unconditional self-love (something I thought I had already had)
• Humbly realizing that I’m codependent (AF) and that growing up in a home with alcohol dependence affected me way more than I initially thought
• Going to my first Al-Anon (virtual) meeting and finding my people (Al-Anon is a support group for friends and family members of alcoholics. #normalizetherapy)
• Re-questioning my sexuality and coming to terms with who I am
• Crying
• More crying
• And some more crying and journaling
• Writing out every thought, worry, and fear
• Writing letters to my 8-year-old self and my 80-year-old self
• Seeing 1:11, 2:22, and other angel numbers ALL OF THE TIME (to the point it made me laugh)
• Talking to my spirit guides like old friends
• Letting go of the pain that others have caused
• Putting up boundaries and practicing saying “no”

(And more)

If you think I’m crazy, it’s okay. Part of my spiritual awakening was letting go of the need for external validation. We can’t live our life starving for outside approval. Spoiler alert: you’ll never be enough to them. They may never get you. Let it go.

The more you ignore the “norm” and follow your instincts, the crazier people will view you. And that’s okay.

Disclaimer: everyone’s spiritual awakening story is different. I know I’m not the first or last person to experience something like this. A lot of you have reached out to me to say “finally” (lol) or “welcome to the club” and shared your stories with me. Thank you for being open and vulnerable. What I love second to story-telling is the connecting part after, the shared stories and the “me too”‘s. I don’t believe I’m special in any way. Everyone has a calling and a purpose for being on the planet, it’s your duty to follow that.

I could probably write a 200-page novel about the last 3-months alone. But, I’ll spare both of us and just stop there. (lol)

Stepping into Alignment

The last 3 months of my life have been the lowest and happiest months of my life. It’s not fun admitting that you hurt a lot of people and are the problem and the one holding yourself back in life. But, it’s also freeing AF to accept and love yourself unconditionally.

I feel aligned with my purpose. When I say that I don’t mean I know what the next 5 years entail, it’s more that I trust I will be guided where I need to go. I feel free and supported. I don’t think my journey stops here. I don’t think a spiritual awakening is the end of the road. It’s just the beginning.

Full transparency: some days, I think what the hell am I doing? Doubts seep in and I get scared. I get lonely. I think about the $$ I left behind in Korea and get scared about the rollercoaster of building my own business and writing a book. I’ve texted my ex then regretted it. Some days, I feel like no one understands or gets me. But, those are temporary thoughts. I am compassionate with myself in those moments and know in the grand scheme, I’m on the right path. And so are you. <3

Saturn Return

A friend on Instagram reached out and told me I am experiencing my “Saturn Return.” Astrologers say Saturn return happens around age 29 and marks a turning point in your life. A wake-up call. If you’ve resisted change and growth in the past, this time in your life can be especially difficult. *HA*

29-years-old is a year of transition, growth, and hard lessons. Any other 29-year-olds going through something similar?

Random thought: Is the United States going through its Saturn Return….???? Or?

Moving on.

I feel like I always have to put a gentle disclaimer: I’m fine. I promise. I hope something I said resonated with you. If you’ve been here for a while, I’m sure you’re used to my over-shares. For the newcomers: I’m not vulnerable or open for pity. Again, I hope you got something (besides this bish crazy) out it.

Other Quick Updates

• It’s Mother’s birthday tomorrow (July 7th), comment below to wish her a Happy Birthday! She’s turning 61 and is THE coolest person I know. My mother is living proof age ain’t nothing but a number. I asked her if she had any 61-year-old wisdom to share. She said…

“Be gentle on yourself. Learn to forgive yourself quickly. Process your mistakes and let them go. It’s important to like and love who you are.”

Mother

• I went to my first protest. I saw grown men crying with a look of hope in their eyes. I saw young children protesting for their rights as human beings. I saw community. It was beautiful and empowering. We still have so much work to do. But, it gave me hope.
• I met my niece (my best friend, Ashley’s baby) and she’s the cutest lil human on planet earth. Ashley if you’re reading this, I love you!
• My best friend(s) got engaged. Congrats Natalie and Johnny!!!!

Announcements!

New Website is Live!

The new Courtney The Explorer website is live! She got a makeover: new logo and graphics! Thank you to those who voted on my logo designs, I will post the final product on my Instagram today! Check out the new website, click around and let me know what you think! Any feedback is appreciated! 

Note: this is my fourth theme change. I recommend picking a good theme, because lord, it is a headache to change!!!!!!

I got my current theme off of Theme Forest. I love it so far!!!

Pick My Brain Sessions are Live!

After 6 years of the nomad life and 3 years of blogging, I’m opening up “Pick My Brain” sessions for the first time ever! What the hell is that? Pick My Brain sessions are something bloggers and service providers offer for one-on-one kick-in-the-butt guidance. It’s a one-time one-on-one session with me for 45 minutes to ask questions + get clarity! 

Mentors and coaches have shaped me into the person I am today. I can 100% say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their help. I feel a nudge from the universe it’s my turn to continue the flow outwards. 

Are you wanting to go on a solo backpacking trip, but not sure where to start? Do you want to start a travel blog, but feel overwhelmed by it all? Do you want to take your blog to the next level and have questions about thriving on Pinterest, creating video content, affiliate marketing/SEO, etc.? I’m your girl.

*This month is a beta run, so session rates are the lowest they will ever be. Spots are limited.*

Click here for more information!

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Love you. Have a wonderful month!!!

xoxo,

Court