How to Conquer Your Fear of Traveling By Yourself

No one can force you to take the initial leap of faith and book a solo trip. I won’t push you off the ledge or buy your plane ticket for you. There is no magic pill that makes fear disappear. The key is to cuddle up with fear, befriend it, then move past it. Beyond your fear is freedom, joy, and endless (SOLO!) adventure.

Look, I was scared AF to go on my first solo backpacking trip. So scared that I forced my mother to go with me for the first two weeks. I was TERRIFIED to go on my second solo backpacking trip. SO terrified that I went to the airport on the wrong day.

After 6 years, I still get nervous, the good kind of nerves. Nervous butterflies signaling you are about to do something f*cking amazing. Keep reading!

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First, Storytime.

I’ve told this story dozens of times, so if you know where this is going, skip ahead. I studied abroad in Florianopolis, Brazil the summer of my senior year. I had my 5-year plan set, my resume polished, internships competed, etc, etc. In the middle of my study abroad program, we had a week-long vacation to go wherever our young, naive hearts desired. I planned a trip to Rio de Janeiro, the coolest, most dangerous city in Brazil with a friend from my study abroad program. Last-minute, she bailed or maybe I had just decided it’d be cooler to go alone? Not sure. All I know is I was on a plane to Rio by myself to stay in a youth hostel for the first time in my life.

My hostel was in the heart of Rio, right next to the famous Copacabana beach. At my hostel, I met the woman (or possibly a couple of women) that would change the course of my life. This bold, confident middle-aged Israeli woman with a deep, soothing voice told me she was traveling the world for “I don’t know how long.” She paused frequently to take a puff of her cigarette or a sip of her red wine. My favorite part about her was that she didn’t give a flying fuck what anyone thought about her or what she was doing. I had a “well, shit” moment. Those moments where your life flashes in front of you. She didn’t know at the time, but she gave me the permission and freedom I was desperately searching for.

I came back from Rio a changed woman. I was scared, terrified (yet excited) about the realization I had had. I was going to solo backpack the world. My parents responded with confusion. I knew in my soul that it was what I needed to do. I wasn’t spiritual at the time, but I had this gut feeling and a knowing that I can’t explain. I know now that it was a push from the universe and the beginning of a long journey. That was the summer of 2013.

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A post shared by Courtney | Travel Blogger (@courtneytheexplorer) on Jul 21, 2013 at 9:09pm PDT

I went back to South America for my first solo backpacking trip in 2014. Then, Guatemala and Mexico on another in 2016. I’ve met fear face-to-face before, during, and after all of my backpacking trips (and most recently my trip to live and work in South Korea in 2019). Fear and I are old friends at this point. I see Fear and it reminds me that I’m about to do something meaningful, that I’m heading in the right direction.

So, why are some of us drawn to travel? And why are we afraid to accept the gift that’s on the other side of travel?

I don’t want to drop too many mics just yet, let’s continue.

Before we get into the “how” let’s get two things out of the way:

Number 1: No amount of preparation will prepare you.

I don’t care what you’ve read. Don’t @ me.

Think of it like this: parenting. Are Moms ever really ready to have a child? You can read 75 “Mom books,” but does that REALLY make you a better Mom….? From what I’ve heard, you’re never truly prepared. You end up fumbling around and figuring it out along the way. And those Moms that THINK they’re the best Moms/have everything together, well frankly, those the Moms we shouldn’t listen to.

Traveling is like parenting. Everyone messes things up, gets lost, misses buses, and your trip takes you to places that weren’t on your list. That’s the beauty of traveling, you must go where you are drawn to and trust it is where you are meant to be.

No one is mentally or physically prepared for their first solo trip. I DO NOT care how many guide books you stuff into your backpack or how many itineraries you saved. You’ll never feel ready or prepared. And if you OVER prepare, the Universe will laugh and throw hurdles your way.

Think about all of the obstacles you’ve had to overcome thus far. You figure it out somehow, right? You will walk into a foreign city and somehow figure out how to get a taxi, how to find your hostel, and how to meet cool people. You will end up overcoming all of those things you once feared. You will learn to trust your instincts and depend on yourself.

Number 2: Whatever you’re afraid of or running away from, you eventually have to face.

Maybe you’re scared of being alone in general or you’re afraid of your family’s disapproval or you’re afraid to do things that are uncomfortable in general, whatever it is, it will keep coming up one way or another until you face it.

Let me share a personal story: I was dating someone (by someone I mean the ex-boyfriend I plastered all over Instagram for the last 3.5 years) who didn’t have the same dreams as I did. I stayed with him for a long time thinking maybe my dreams would fizzle or maybe I could convince him. I was scared of facing who I really was. I was afraid of my big dreams. I spent a lot of years trying to convince myself away from my dreams. I started to imagine being a mom and building a life in Chicago (things that he wanted). I tried to compromise myself and run away from my destiny. I moved to Korea as a compromise, we would settle down and have security, we would be “stable.” And I would still be able to travel…

…we all know how that worked out.

You see, you can’t control destiny. From experience, it’s more painful to run away than to face your fears. The more I tried to run, anxiety, sadness, and anger built up in my body. I can promise you that external validation will never help you sleep at night. Being in an unfitting relationship will never be as satisfying as loving yourself. And running away from your dreams is way scarier than living your truth. Again from first-hand experience, being on the other side of fear is freeing.

I feel free for the first time in a long time.

You are reading this because something (the Universe) told you to, a nudge from your spirit guides telling you to “live yo dreams girl!”

There’s a reason why you are being pulled to travel. Listen and trust.

How to Conquer Your Fear

Quiet the noise around you

You are all that you need. One more time: YOU-ARE-ALL-THAT-YOU-NEED.

By noise, I mean the news, social media, fear-based people, and/or your aunt who has never traveled telling you that traveling by yourself is dangerous. All of those people and things will play into your fear. It’s all an ugly buffet of misinformation, don’t eat it.

Quiet the “should”s – the shoulds that other people place upon you. (Examples: you “should” get married, you “should” have children, you “should” go to college, you “should” get a real job, etc) The “should-ers” in your life SHOULD shut up and mind their business. But, we SHOULDN’T tell them that… or should we?

My point is: the ONLY nudge you “should” listen to is the voice inside of you. The Universe/God/spirit/whatever you want to call it is here to protect you and lead you on your path.

When you are following your path (not the path that everyone else wants for you), it feels scary but the good kind.

So anyways, create quiet for yourself. Meditate, journal, and go on walks by yourself without your phone. If you’re working a full-time job, wake up a little earlier in the day to practice these self-care rituals. Or spend 30 minutes at night away from the TV or screens. This is your self-love and self-care practice. Protect it and do it every day. It will bring you closer to your purpose and inner voice.

Related articles: Affirmations to Start Your Day, 200+ Word of The Month Ideas

Surround Yourself With What You Want

Now that I’ve told you to quiet everything, let me confuse you a bit and tell you to crowd your life with people and influences that make you want to travel the f*cking world tomorrow.

Surround yourself with friends who love to travel, inspirational podcasts, solo female travel memoirs, travel bloggers, and positive affirmations.

“Push Through Your Fear” To Do List

1. Write Out What You Want. Read it every day. I have a notecard on my desk that says exactly what I want my life to look like: how much money I want to make, where I want to travel/live, what everything looks like around me, how I want to feel, etc.
2. Create a vision board (on Pinterest or out of magazines at home) I put my vision board on my wall above my computer. I see it as soon as I wake up.
3. Do your daily affirmations. I have positive affirmations as my computer background and on post-it notes all over the apartment and desk. Find the right affirmations for you, there are all different kinds. I really like the “I am” statements. (I am strong. I am confident. I am free.)
4. Change your computer password to something that inspires you. “I will travel the world” or “I will conquer my fears” or “traveler.”
5. Join Facebook groups filled with women who travel or want to travel. (Girls Love Travel is a good one.)
6. Thank the universe for what you want. This is something I started doing recently. You can say “thank you Universe (or God or spirit guides) for giving me the confidence to backpack Asia by myself” or anything else you want to happen in the future. Be specific. I write it in my journal and sometimes even say it out loud.
7. Write. Talk through your apprehensions with yourself. Journal about topics like “fear” and “trust.” Get to the core. Write 3 journal pages every morning before you do anything. (I learned from The Artist’s Way that has brought me clarity. I HIGHLY recommend reading this book. Check it out here.)
8. Read. Travel memoirs have been my saving grace. They’ve picked me up when I was unsure and scared and pointed me in the right direction. Click here my favorite travel memoirs.

Some of the things might feel weird. You might feel nuts for putting affirmations all over your house. Take whatever feels right for you. There’s not a clear roadmap for growth and tackling fear. Everyone’s journey is different. I don’t have all your answers, you do. You are your own guru.

Walk Towards Your Fear

I actually recommend sprinting, that way you can’t really back down. You sort of blackout and end up somewhere in the Peruvian jungle. (lol)

Look, I don’t want to drown you all in cliches about fear. We all know we should be doing things that scare us. Usually the thing we fear is the thing that’s good for us.

Okay, Now Some Practical Advice for Female Solo Travel

The most important thing is your mindset, BUT here are some safety tips for solo travelers and general travel tips (for my earth sign/left brain girls who need some tangible advice):

• Stay at hostels at first: you’ll make tons of BFFs, you’ll never have to be alone. Once you get your bearings, I recommend couch surfing or house-sitting for an added experience.
• Learn the language (or at least the basics for safety and pleasure)
• Make an effort to interact with locals (tips: download Tinder, look for Couch Surfing events, go to local events, etc.)
• Research basic tips for each country (sometimes there are specific tourist scams that can be avoided)
• Lock up your stuff (I know this sounds basic, but I found myself forgetting this rule on the road. I don’t care if everyone in a hostel has their stuff out, lock yours up.
• Pack smart: I wrote a packing guide that I still use for future trips: click here for everything you need on your backpacking trip (I recommend adjusting it to fit your needs and destination)
• Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel (I mentioned it above) – It’s one of those books I wish I had read before I started (I read it recently). I highly recommend reading it and using it as a reference guide during your travels. It’s jammed with good information and useful resources. It’s really all you need. Click here to check it out.

Helpful Guides:

• 12 Ways to Travel for Free (different options to travel cheap or free)
• How to Quit Your Job and Travel The World (how to save/how much to save for a trip, when to start planning your trip/how to plan your trip, a step-by-step guide!)
• Packing Guide (everything you’ll need for your trip!)

Final Thoughts

I’ll end this by saying one thing: here’s your sign. Your sign to follow your gut. Again, if you are being pulled to travel, there’s a reason. Travel for yourself and no one else. Do the things that bring you the most joy. Do whatever it takes to be more you.

Okay, I promise I’m done saying inspirational quotes. I believe in you and you’re amazing. I love you. Keep me updated on your adventures!!!!!!

xoxo,

Court

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